BBC London 5th May 2010

** if you don't listen to my slot on The Robert Elms Show, this is where I jot my trippings through London's shops. If shopping isn't your bag, skip on to something more serious. But if you like trinkets and tropes, here are all the details...**

First of all, I interviewed Jenny Dyson - the self professed 'Mrs Rubbish'. She isn't rubbish at all...what is the opposite of rubbish? Usefulness? Not exactly. Before you draw any conclusions, that's not to say Jenny isn't useful. As well as publishing London Fashion Week's daily paper and writing magazines for Liberty (their summerzine is going to be in circulation on 22nd May, and promises to be a thing of beauty - I'll alert you to that when the time comes), she's a creative consultant for a multifarious collection of brands, and the co-founder of Rubbish Magazine. On Wednesday, though, we certainly weren't talking about something useful. Sorry if you have a utilitarian perspective on finger puppets, but that was our subject. Entirely frivolous, but suitable for the time - bespoke finger puppets (£10 a pop) in the form of some prominent politicians all too familiar to us. 

 Clegg (unrelated fact: in the north of Ireland, a clegg is a fly that bites.)

A knitted version of Brown. I doubt I'll ever type that phrase again.

Poor Green Caroline. Dracula would envy that representation of your eyebrows.

Because it was the BBC, I had to give each of the finger puppets an equal amount of airtime, criticism and praise. True.

After a brief stop at the pop-up Parliamentary Waffle House run by jelly sculptors extraordinaire Bompas & Parr (where they were measuring the mood of voters by the numbers of politically themed waffles consumed), I sped on to M.Goldstein. That's the shop run by Nathanial and Pippa - old familiars to the show, particularly Pippa who used to run the secret shop at Maison Bertaux on Greek Street in Soho. (If you never found it, sorry - it's magicked away now. Alas, you did miss a trick there.) They sell all sorts of treasures, and I cherry-picked these for the show:

A Billingsgate Fish Market porter's hat - made from wood, leather and hobnail, it's handily flat at the top to carry trays and, naturally, the wide brim stops fish guts getting in your eyes. For £1800 I certainly hope so.

Or maybe better just to shade your eyes with 1970s sunglasses by Brigitte Bardot (£120)

Original 1930s trousers (plus eights). Brilliantly they are brand 'new' - unworn dead stock. I love that. £150 (don't love THAT so much, but if they REALLY suited, that's three lots of £50 which you could spend on worthless things so why not buy something you'll keep and other justifications etc...)

From the very niche to the very opposite...thanks to my friend Caroline Kamp who writes an excellent design blog, we took a jaunt to IKEA to have a laugh at the election themed kitchens she'd found. The Domestic Policy range lets you choose from a Brun (featuring a Cabinette, "easily shuffled and reshuffled at speed, with a revolving door"), Kamerun (with Deceptivia surfaces, underpinned by a "Maggie design") or Kleggi (complete with a Fotoshelvia to display those "honeymoon periods". You get the idea. Tricksy territory with the old equal measuring and non-opinioning, so we whizzed through that more quickly than I might have planned.

And then, the all important sales: 

Ghost promises 90% off in the 20th Century Theatre in Notting Hill  (Sunday 9th May, 11am-5pm)

The Affordable Vintage Fair comes to London on Sunday 9th May; they guarantee you'll find vintage clothing for 75% less than on the high street. Open 12-5pm in York Hall in Bethnal Green (all details on the website).


Finito! Next one is 19th May. Speak to you then.